Except in 2009. Then you might have done well to listen to my advice.
But what have you done for us lately? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zip. So stop resting on your laurels, Geritol Fan, and watch me work!
Super Bowl XVII -- Baltimore Ravens (+4) vs. San Francisco 49ers, in NOLA. Well, I thought that both of these teams would have been out by now, but here they are, the Harbaugh Brothers, the greatest set of brothers since the Wright Brothers. No, that's not right. Maybe the Smothers Brothers. No, that's not it, either.
Maybe the Hudson Brothers?
Oh my goodness, no! Please people, don't click that link! You'll need a 55-gallon drum of bleach for your eyes and ears! The point about this game is simple -- Jim Harbaugh has unwisely staked his job on the wrong quarterback. Because as much as we want to talk about Colin Kaepernick and his arms with a 5,000 word essay tattooed on them, the point is simple -- when has a mobile quarterback ever won a Super Bowl? I must have missed it when Fran Tarkenton won all those Super Bowls in the 1970s. Oh wait, he didn't. Sorry, Vikings fans. Or who could forget the triumphant Super Bowl performances of Randall Cunningham and Michael Vick? Oh, darn, they never got there.
What about Steve Young?
That's different. Steve Young was a running quarterback when he was with Tampa Bay, mostly because he was running for his life. Remember this? Well, I don't, but it's amusing:
By 1994, Young wasn't a running quarterback any more than say, Aaron Rodgers is now. He'd run when he had to, but not on purpose. Kaepernick still hasn't shown me he can win with his arm. Baltimore is going to make Kaepernick work for everything he gets. Will the pressure of the big game finally end the era of the read-option? Baltimore 34, San Francisco 27.
I agree with you and disagree with you. How's that?
Confusing. But go on.
I think San Francisco is the more dynamic team, but the Ravens are playing very well right now. Joe Flacco has made a real case for himself as a quarterback in this playoff run. Winning in Denver and New England in consecutive weeks is pretty impressive. Still, I wonder about Baltimore's aging defense. Ray Lewis has been getting the Bambi extract and Ed Reed is still out there fighting, but they are some old guys and Kaepernick runs like an antelope. If Baltimore is going to win, they will need Haloti Ngata to have a huge day on defense. I think it's going to be high scoring, but in the end I have to disagree. San Francisco 31, Baltimore 29.
By the way, the reason we didn't have this pick up yesterday is because we were in Prior Lake watching the Border Battle, a seven-game basketball extravaganza between Minnesota high school teams and Wisconsin high school teams. The old dude and I (and Fearless Maria, too!) got a chance to see Reid Travis, the stud player for DeLaSalle, and Tyus Jones, the wunderkind from Apple Valley, along with the monstrous, somewhat frightening looking Henry Ellenson, a sophomore from Rice Lake, Wisconsin, who looks like a villain in a James Bond movie. It was a lot of fun and I was definitely feeling some HYYYYYYYPPPPPPPPE! We also saw Tubby Smith hanging around on the far side of the gym. Tubby would like to have all three of those kids on his team someday. He might get one or two, but Tyus Jones is likely headed to